tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-100548362011-08-31T11:20:22.280+12:00Why are we fat? Poor diet and physical inactivity are the chief reasons. Labour-intensive jobs have been superseded by technology, confining many workers to desks. Longer working weeks mean reduced leisure time, tiredness and less inclination to cook or exercise. Cheap fast-food, high in fat and calories, is available in bigger portions, 24 hours a day, seven days a week... ...Also, eating a bucket of lard sprinkled with sugar for breakfast every morning helps.chewtoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099729723412167008noreply@blogger.comBlogger341100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1135108517642963482005-12-21T08:48:00.000+13:002005-12-21T08:55:17.683+13:00

Good morning gentle princesses and prince pupae! I would like to share with you a poem that I wrote during my rather long and thin absence. This poem is dedicated to my followers and sycophants that titter in the moonlight, and to the long-term lover which is it's subject.GLEEFULLY I PRANCEDANCING WITH THE CHAINSAW OF LOVEAROUND YOUR TIGHTLY WRAPPED BODY I DRAW LINES OF BLOODY LOVE WITH THE TEETH

chewtoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099729723412167008noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1135047112549354122005-12-20T15:46:00.000+13:002005-12-20T15:51:52.563+13:00

"In several other universes I encountered many spleens quite unlike the ones you see in every day London. I didn't think there could be more than one opportunity for outrageous nakedness during the opera. I was wrong.O how wrong I was to lust after the bandmaster in his bright green g-string, contorting to the many-toned smells of africa's enduring wildlife, and their rampant overtones of

chewtoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099729723412167008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105656509103303152005-01-14T11:46:00.000+13:002005-01-14T11:48:29.103+13:00

Damnit, I just realised that SPECIMAN is not correct. I had been using SPECIMAN instead of SPECIMEN It's SPECIMEN! SPECIMENS is the plural of SPECIMEN. SPECIMEN is not the plural of SPECIMAN... go figure. I'm a moron. Definition: Spec"i*men, n. [L., fr. specere to look, to behold. See {Spy}.] A part, or small portion, of anything, or one of a number of things, intended to exhibit the kind and

chewtoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099729723412167008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105656234444843752005-01-14T11:43:00.000+13:002005-01-14T11:43:54.443+13:00

From now on it will be referred to as "The Specimen"

geekfreakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12101768637634679142noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105561272936348382005-01-13T09:17:00.000+13:002005-01-13T09:21:12.936+13:00

Today I did something out of the ordinary, but to be honest I really enjoyed it. I had a shower, and got all clean and fresh smelling. Then I went to the fridge, opened a 1kg container of yoghurt, poured it into a large bowl and heated it for 2 mins on high in the microwave. I then stood out on the back lawn - and smothered it all over my body whilst humming the song "I love myself I want you to

geekfreakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12101768637634679142noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105557845576751322005-01-13T08:21:00.000+13:002005-01-13T08:24:05.576+13:00

I sat on the lawn this morning as the sun rose, sipping at my geeling tea. It was beautiful having my wives and many beautiful love children singing and swaying before me, while the glorious orb of the sun rose majestic over the trees. I hope and pray that all the beautiful people of the world might join together in sensual peace and harmonious edification.

chewtoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099729723412167008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105557005897090172005-01-13T08:07:00.000+13:002005-01-13T08:10:05.896+13:00

Today, I don't know why - but I feel very weepy. I spilt coffee on myself and I just burst into tears, this is so not like me - what is wrong with me ? I walked to work trying not to step on any ants, and wanting to hug everyone that I passed along the way. I am not sure what is going on with me, I am usually in control. I feel so emotional.

geekfreakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12101768637634679142noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105492294310629622005-01-12T14:11:00.000+13:002005-01-12T14:11:34.310+13:00

Edxman's Universe WOOHOOO A GENUWIIIIINE DUDE. I love this guy I really do. I want his babies... "Me? I'm nobody...yet. I don't do great things. I do small things... with great love. I have a small existence in this huge reality, but I consider myself to be the luckiest man on earth. Why do I believe that? As the saying goes, "That's for me to know, and for you to find out". Or else, just ask

chewtoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099729723412167008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105484249919419722005-01-12T11:57:00.000+13:002005-01-12T11:57:29.920+13:00

When I put my student ID card into my floppy drive, the computer won't log me in.

geekfreakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12101768637634679142noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105481802061114062005-01-12T11:14:00.000+13:002005-01-12T11:16:42.060+13:00

Vree Vree Vree

chewtoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099729723412167008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105477361446143212005-01-12T09:57:00.000+13:002005-01-12T10:02:41.446+13:00

Mary had a little lamb whos fleece was white as snow Mary had a little bipolar disorder but medication helped One day she forgot her medication and went tropo. The lamb is now as pink as raw sausage mince because Mary bashed the sheep repeatedly with a shovel.

chewtoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099729723412167008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105469650081381882005-01-12T07:52:00.000+13:002005-01-12T07:54:10.080+13:00

It cannot be seen, cannot be felt, Cannot be heard, cannot be smelt. It lies behind stars and under hills, And empty holes it fills. It comes first and follows after, Ends life, kills laughter.

water lillyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10202813029966529685noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105467697419859342005-01-12T07:20:00.000+13:002005-01-12T07:21:37.420+13:00

Life is a lemon and I want my money BACK!

water lillyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10202813029966529685noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105433937204343962005-01-11T21:58:00.000+13:002005-01-11T21:58:57.203+13:00

If you think life is bad... How would you like to be an egg? You only get laid once You only get eaten once. It takes 4 minutes to get hard. Only 2 minutes to get soft. You share your box with 11 other guys. But worst of all.. The only chick ever to sit on your face is your mother. So, cheer up...Your life ain't that bad!

geekfreakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12101768637634679142noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105413058144339452005-01-11T16:07:00.000+13:002005-01-11T16:10:58.143+13:00

A guy was walking through the main street of his town one day when he came across a little alien. The alien snarled at him like a frog on heat - and the guy said to him "what the hell are you doing that for ? I was only walking along minding my own business" the alien snarled at him again and then he pulled out of his handbag a ball of wool and started knitting him a jersey. Then he ate some

geekfreakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12101768637634679142noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105400590158777122005-01-11T13:42:00.000+13:002005-01-11T12:43:10.160+13:00

1. Thus sayeth the cheese: He that doth supply the holy stench of white christmas, shall forever be thine own toilet receptacle until thou dost descend mightily upon the heathen llamas. 2. Wherefore, great shall be the vengeance thou shalt impart unto the hordes of promiscuous mammals previously referred to as llamas. 3. In thee is found several gallones of righteous cellulite. 4. To and fro dost

chewtoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099729723412167008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105403369546777292005-01-11T13:28:00.000+13:002005-01-11T13:29:29.546+13:00

Lazy Lob and crazy Cob are weaving webs to wind me. I am far more sweet than other meat, but still they cannot find me!

water lillyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10202813029966529685noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105401803438034252005-01-11T13:02:00.000+13:002005-01-11T13:15:18.106+13:00

An eye in a blue face Saw an eye in a green face. "That eye is like to this eye" Said the first eye, "But in low place, Not in high place."

water lillyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10202813029966529685noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105401792125058992005-01-11T13:00:00.000+13:002005-01-11T13:03:12.126+13:00

I was just sitting here at my desk, when the carrot came up to me and yelled whilst jumping on a water melon. I was so angry with it, that I jumped and attacked the yachting crew - and they all screamed at me with there leather wallets.

geekfreakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12101768637634679142noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105386443955564362005-01-11T08:47:00.000+13:002005-01-11T08:47:23.956+13:00

No. Spoons are iconoclastic and would rather inseminate a disgruntled hamster in the bell tower of the notre dame cathedral. Given the competitive nature of forks I would suggest that they are descendants of Muriel's left testicle - provided you can prove she ejaculated viable spermatazoa. In conclusion I want to feel like a woman, just for one moment, like a morbidly obese female.

chewtoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099729723412167008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105383996135606652005-01-11T08:05:00.000+13:002005-01-11T08:06:36.136+13:00

have you ever thought what the crust of bread would taste like if it was fried in diesel

crusthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18380629915144044233noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105381620324001012005-01-11T07:26:00.000+13:002005-01-11T07:27:00.323+13:00

flurp flurp flurp

plonker1noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105381827919842272005-01-11T07:19:00.000+13:002005-01-11T08:52:03.563+13:00

ME: Slee Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Slee Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Slee Flurp Flurp Flurp Slee Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Slee Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp Flurp

chewtoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099729723412167008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105326148253264852005-01-10T15:57:00.000+13:002005-01-10T16:02:28.253+13:00

"In Hindsight, perhaps someone should have contacted me, as I am in charge of computers and printers here, so should have been informed! Here are some things that managers DO NOT KNOW (or need to know):" [I have edited the customers following points to make them more accurate] 1. I AM A COMPLETE ASSFAIRY! 2. IF I WAS ABLE TO TELL MY ASS FROM MY OWN NOSE I WOULD BE A GENIUS 3. I SHOULD BE FIRED

chewtoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099729723412167008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105325115854387142005-01-10T15:43:00.000+13:002005-01-10T15:45:15.853+13:00

The chicken said to the flamingo to bring all its shoes to the party and the chicken got really aggressive toward the goat. How dare he asked the flamingo, and they all laughed and flurped together.

geekfreakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12101768637634679142noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105324968625735962005-01-10T15:42:00.000+13:002005-01-10T15:42:58.696+13:00

Sawdust make me moist

Buffalo billhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12176259313968069256noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105318991151154162005-01-10T14:01:00.000+13:002005-01-10T14:03:11.153+13:00

Building a gate is in some respects, a time consuming process. It can however be very therapeutic, in that it accesses the inner child within - triggering deep set memories of one's childhood and how your uncle used to chase you on his farm with his whips and chains. You did however secretly enjoy those fettish and tedious little games on the farm - you found it very arousing when he used to

geekfreakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12101768637634679142noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105317429770280102005-01-10T13:33:00.000+13:002005-01-10T13:40:05.426+13:00

Me Hi,I've discovered a way to speed up the groupwise account synchronisation process. When sitting near at least three strangers, neigh and whinny like a brood mare in season, while pawing at the ground with your hind hooves. This will arouse the stallion so much his engorged member will pulse with excitement... thus enabling groupwise synchronisation. It Yeah, I read that one on the Novell

chewtoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099729723412167008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105316955392660912005-01-10T13:28:00.000+13:002005-01-10T13:29:15.393+13:00

It is away sick today because it had its skin flayed off its body, tanned, and made into a set of female genitalia. This was because it would not rub the lotion on itself and it got the hose.

chewtoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099729723412167008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105316811838480362005-01-10T13:26:00.000+13:002005-01-10T13:26:51.836+13:00

Although the Encryption Framework for Enterprises™ (EFE) is the first and only encryption framework that provides a total enterprise encryption security solution, the transition for Novell has not been without its detractors. This cryptographic library exists within the Black Ether known as ZARKHAN but falls short of providing critical components for automation, secure Key Management (KM),

chewtoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099729723412167008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105316753653645822005-01-10T13:25:00.000+13:002005-01-10T13:25:53.653+13:00

I discovered this one on the interweb. You should love it. Uncle james ate at the kicthen bench every morning with his peanut on the floor. When he finished the first salmon cake it's mother jumped out of the fridge and flapped its yellow eyes like flurp flurp flurp and was very upset saying UNCLE JAMES TAKE YOUR PEANUT OFF MY SALMON CAKE but then the bunnies saw her and tied her to the railroad

chewtoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099729723412167008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105315488046783632005-01-10T13:04:00.000+13:002005-01-10T13:05:47.246+13:00

This is an even better blog vre vre

chewtoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099729723412167008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105314802006262642005-01-10T12:53:00.000+13:002005-01-10T12:53:22.006+13:00

IT is standing at my desk looking over my shoulder.

chewtoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099729723412167008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10054836.post-1105314452599108122005-01-10T12:45:00.000+13:002005-01-10T12:47:32.600+13:00

Flurp

chewtoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099729723412167008noreply@blogger.com0